Join The Campaign
In 2016, the freedom to marry is strictly limited in Israel. The ultra-Orthodox Chief Rabbinate has a monopoly on marriage, preventing over 600,000 couples from fulfilling their basic right to make their love legal.
We want to change this reality. Following the success of the campaign for marriage equality just celebrated here in the US, we’re excited to join forces – Israelis and Americans – to create a network for change. Through action and acts of solidarity, fundraising, and campaigning, we send our support directly to the people and activists on the ground in Israel. If you are passionate about equality—like we are—stand up and make your voice heard!
Who Are We?
New Israel Fund’s New Generations (New Gen) is an open and vibrant community of young professionals, social activists, and community leaders in their 20s and 30s who are committed to the work of the New Israel Fund, the leading organization promoting equality and democracy for all Israelis.
#MyLoveIsLegal was started by Bay Area New Gen in February 2016. Boston New Gen joined the campaign in May 2016!
The New Israel Fund was founded more than 30 years ago to actualize the vision of Israel’s Founders, that of a Jewish and democratic state that, in the words of the Declaration of Independence, “ensures complete equality of social and political rights to all its inhabitants irrespective of religion, race or sex.” Through our founding, funding and advocacy of more than 800 organizations that comprise Israel’s progressive civil society, we have become the leading organization advancing democracy and equality in Israel.
Be Free Israel (Israel Hofsheet) is a grassroots movement formed by a group of activists and friends who sought to make a change in the relationship between religion and state in Israel. Be Free Israel strives for an Israeli society that practices cultural and religious pluralism, protects civil rights, and upholds the principles of democracy and Zionism as put forth in the Declaration of Independence.
Havaya (existence, being, or experience in Hebrew) is Be Free Israel’s flagship project. Havaya provides wedding ceremonies to anyone who is unable to marry legally in Israel, or prefers an alternative ceremony, outside of the ultra-Orthodox Chief Rabbinate, for reasons of personal belief. Havaya creates the social space for every Israeli to be part of the wedding ceremony that holds the most personal meaning for her or him.
What You Can Do!
Say What?
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Featured
Events
Celebrating the Freedom to Love!
Help kick off the campaign with a Valentine's Day Party for the Freedom to Marry in Israel. Get your tickets here! Come dance, eat and drink in the name of freedom, love, and equality. Get your tickets here.
Thursday, February 11 at 7pm @ 3359 Cesar Chavez St (@ Mission St), SF
The Kitchen Presents: Semitic Erotic
End the Sabbath and enter Valentine's Day with a master storyteller's interactive talk featuring Talmudic dating tips and lesser-known queer tales of forbidden loving. Preceded by a musical Havdala ritual. God-optional. Get your tickets here.
Saturday, February 13 at 7pm @ Kadist’s, 3295 20th St (@Folsom), SF
Oriented @ JFI WinterFest
Come watch Oriented the groundbreaking documentary exploring the lives of three gay Palestinian friends confronting their national and sexual identity in Tel Aviv. Plus, join us later for brunch in partnership with Keshet. We'll discuss the LGBTQ community, Palestinians living in Israel, and intersectionality.
The movie is presented by the Jewish Film Institute as part its 3rd annual WinterFest.
Saturday, February 27 at 11am @ Alamo Drafthouse Cinema at the New Mission Theater - San Francisco’s stunning new movie palace!
Buy tickets here and use code "FREEDOM2LOVE" for a special NIF New Gen Discount.
Gett: The Trial of Viviane Amsalem
Come watch Gett: The Trial of Viviane Amsalem followed by a discussion and presentation about the religious monopoly on marriage and divorce in Israel. Presented in partnership with the National Council of Jewish Women and The Jewish Film Institute. Check out the NYTimes review here.
Sunday, March 6. Screening at 3pm. Discussion at 5:30pm @ JFI, 145 9th St, SF
Drinks and light snacks will be provided. RSVP here.
Stay tuned for more events!
FAQ
1. WHAT DOES "FREEDOM TO MARRY" MEAN IN ISRAEL?
The freedom to marry is severely restricted in Israel. Jews are only permitted to marry under the auspices of the Rabbinate of Israel, which has a monopoly on all marriage and divorce. (Each religious community is under the exclusive jurisdiction of their own religious authority: Christians, Muslims, Druze, Jews, etc.). Interfaith marriage does not legally exist. Because the Rabbinate unilaterally decides who can and cannot marry according to Halakha (Jewish religious law), hundreds of thousands of Israelis are deemed unfit, or not “Jewish enough,” and are therefore prohibited from marrying the person they love: LGBTQ couples, Jews by choice who converted through non-Orthodox denominations or “unauthorized” rabbis, Jewish citizens unable to produce documents proving they have “legitimate” Jewish heritage (mainly from the former Soviet Union and Ethiopia), interfaith couples, or people who choose to get married through any ceremony — religious, traditional, or secular — that is not Orthodox.
2. WHO CAN GET MARRIED IN ISRAEL?
A heterosexual couple from the same religion. If they’re Jewish, they must be “Jewish enough” in the eyes of the Rabbinate. And, even then, they can only be married in an Orthodox ceremony with an authorized Orthodox Rabbi.
3. WHAT DO YOU MEAN "JEWISH ENOUGH"?
Good question. The rabbinate operates according to Halakha and has its own narrow process of deciding who is Jewish (principally: only individuals born to a halakhically Jewish mother). Only certain conversions are accepted (not Reform, Conservative, Renewal, or any other non-Orthodox movement); only some of the Jews who immigrated to Israel; only divorced women who received a get (halakhic divorce) from their husbands. And what about LGBTQ or interfaith couples? Sadly, no chance.
Almost 700,000 Israeli Jews are considered unfit for marriage by the Rabbinate. Below, we provide a summary of the groups principally affected.
Jews by Choice: Only certain people who have converted to Judaism qualify for marriage in Israel, and their conversions must be approved by the Rabbinate. (Converts who studied with a non-Orthodox rabbi do not qualify as “Jewish enough,” and even some Orthodox converts from outside of Israel are deemed insufficiently Jewish.) Children of unapproved converts are not “Jewish enough” either.
LGBTQ: No chance.
Jewish immigrants who made aliyah: Jewish citizens of Israel who were born outside of the state have to prove to the Rabbinate that they are “really Jewish” by presenting a ketubah (Jewish wedding contract) from their parents’ wedding or a birth certificate from their country of birth identifying them as Jewish. If neither of these exist or if they are inaccessible (as is the case for many Russian and Ethiopian Jewish immigrants to Israel), the couple is forced to go through various humiliating processes to demonstrate sufficient Jewish heritage (e.g., bringing your 95-year-old grandmother to a panel of ultra-Orthodox rabbis to recite the Shema, Judaism’s central prayer, or to speak fluent Yiddish).
Previously-married Jewish women: If the woman has been previously married to a Jewish man, she has to receive a get (Jewish religious divorce) from her husband. (See more under question 7.)
If a heterosexual couple meets all these prerequisites and wants to get legally married in Israel — Mazel Tov! But remember that the only way to do it is by having an Orthodox wedding with a certified Orthodox rabbi in a kosher venue. Rabbis from other denominations are not generally allowed to perform weddings.
4. SO, IF I'M "JEWISH ENOUGH" TO MAKE ALIYAH, I'M ALSO "JEWISH ENOUGH" TO GET MARRIED, RIGHT?
Nope. That’s another big issue. The Israeli Law of Return is a secular civil law that provided Jews the right to live in Israel and gain Israeli citizenship. The law’s definition of “who is a Jew” is much wider than the definition of provided by Halakha, which the Rabbinate uses for issues of marriage and divorce. According to the Law of Return, a person with one Jewish grandparent or people who are married to a Jew can qualify as Jewish. The law connects to the historical persecution of Jews around the world while also taking into account that Israel was created as a safe haven for Jews. This means that a person may be “Jewish enough” to make aliyah, become an Israeli citizen, and serve in army, while at the same time not be “Jewish enough” to marry in Israel.
5. DOES CIVIL MARRIAGE EXIST IN ISRAEL?
Nope. The only way to legally marry is through the Rabbinate in a religious ceremony sanctioned by that body. Most couples who cannot legally marry either don’t marry at all or get married overseas and then register their marriage so that their Israeli identity cards identify them as married. Following years of legal struggles and sacrifices, today common-law marriage in Israel is one of the most developed in the world. Nevertheless, holding a civil wedding ceremony, obtaining a domestic partnership or common-law status are alternatives that do not confer the same rights and benefits that legally-sanctioned marriage does (mainly in issues such as adoption, surrogacy, immigration and family reunification). Furthermore, the law states that both the couple and the person who marries them (the rabbi or officiant) are subject to two years of imprisonment each. Yep. Two years in prison. This law has never been enforced (yet), but it’s on the books.
6. DOES SAME SEX MARRIAGE EXIST IN ISRAEL?
Same sex couples are not allowed to marry in Israel. Following a long legal struggle, same sex marriages performed overseas are recognized in Israel and these couples are registered on their identity cards as married. After many years of legal struggle, gay and lesbian couples have been able to achieve equal rights regarding inheritances and other financial benefits, but they still do not receive equal rights in areas such as family reunification and citizenship, or adoption and surrogacy in Israel. Another cultural issue for LGBTQ couples is the fact that not getting married at all is still frowned upon in many communities.
7. A GET - WHAT'S THAT ALL ABOUT?
Orthodox rabbinical courts are the only bodies in Israel with the power to settle any case of marriage and divorce, which means that civil divorce doesn’t exist in Israel. When the female partner refuses a divorce, the rabbinical court has the power to “compel” or force her to accept the dissolution of the marriage. On the other hand, when the husband refuses to give a get to his wife (a religious document that releases a wife from marriage), the rabbinical court has only the power to impose sanctions on the husband, but will not force his hand. Sarvanut get (the refusal to end the marriage) often serves as a strategic bargaining chip for men to obtain more of the shared property and the rights regarding the children before agreeing to give the get. In practice, the rabbinical system forces these women to waive their rights. Another interesting fact is that even after receiving a get, the woman is not allowed to marry a man she was in a relationship with while waiting to receive the get from her husband.
8. WHERE IS MY MONEY GOING?
This campaign’s goal is to raise awareness of the discrimination so many Israelis face and to take part in the struggle for the freedom to marry in Israel. After witnessing the amazing achievement of marriage equality here in the US, we know we can win similar victories in Israel! As young Jews, we want to make sure Israel knows that the current discriminatory practices do not reflect Jewish values. We stand against the ugly status quo and support the people who are taking part in the fight for equality and freedom. We hope to raise $10,000 forHavaya, the flagship program of Be Free Israel, one of the leading organizations for change in the relationship between religion and state in Israel.
Havaya creates a safe space for Israeli couples that want to get married on their terms. Havaya also challenges the monopoly of the Rabbinate by offering meaningful wedding options to couples legally forbidden to marry in Israel, as well as to couples who do not wish to use official religious services (because of personal beliefs, as an act of solidarity, or as an act of civil disobedience to resist the monopoly). Havaya’s work includes guidance, support, and legal advice, and the weddings can be of any denomination and can include Jewish traditions or not. These wedding are not recognized as legally valid by Israel, but they provide a meaningful, symbolic, spiritual, and communal expression of love and partnership that allows couples to marry in the way they choose with the person they choose. This grassroots movement is a game changer in Israel. It is a way to challenge the current discriminatory status quo. Our donations will support couples getting married in this way, and will allow Havaya to continue doing their vital work.
Learn More
Not Jewish Enough to Marry in Israel? NIF Says No Way
Drew Himmelstein | J Weekly | March 3, 2016
“Jews who made aliyah from Ethiopia or the former Soviet Union can serve in the army and die for their state, but [many of them] can’t get married in Israel,” said May Pundak, director of the New Generations Bay Area program. “This really disrespectful, discriminating system does not represent us.” Read More
Will Israel Be Jewish-Democratic or Jewish-Fanatic?
Michael Gitzin | Haaretz | December 3, 2015
Can Israel's Jewishness become more diverse, coexisting with democracy, or will it become an even more constricting Judaism sanctifying extremist positions and clashing with democratic values? Read More
Forced to marry abroad: A personal perspective on Israel's marriage crisis
Tzachi Ezra Torf-Fulton | Hiddush | December 22, 2013
The lack of civil marriage and recognition of non-Orthodox marriage leaves hundreds of thousands of Israelis without any option to actualize their basic right to marriage. Millions more are forced to partake in a ceremony incongruent with their beliefs. Read More
Rabbinate's Strict Rules Bar 660K Jews From Marrying In Israel
JTA | The Forward | January 12, 2016
Prohibitions on civil and non-Orthodox weddings in Israel prevent 660,000 Jewish-Israelis — including 364,000 immigrants from the former Soviet Union — from marrying in the Jewish state, according to a nonprofit promoting religious freedom in Israel. Read more
Israeli Minister Says Reform Jews Are Not Really Jewish
Isabel Kershner | The New York Times | July 7, 2015
Member of Knesset Azoulay, Minister of Religious Affairs does not consider Reform Jews to be Jewish. Read More
We Cannot Call You Minister
Rabbi Ken Chasen & Rabbi Yoshi Zweiback | Jewish Journal | July 8, 2015
Kol Yisrael areivin zeh la-zeh ("all Israel is connected one to the other"), a response to MK Azoulay. Read More
80% of secular Israeli Jews prefer not to get married via Orthodox Rabbinate
Rabbi Uri Regev | Hiddush | May 8, 2015
The consistent rise in the number of Israeli Jews who would have preferred to marry outside the Orthodox Rabbinate has been monitored in Hiddush’s multi-year polling on freedom of marriage. Read More
Why Gay Marriage Isn't Coming to Israel Any Time Soon
Aeyal Gross | Haaretz | June 30, 2015
Critical thinking: Israel’s pessimistic response to the historic US Supreme Court decision for marriage equality. Read More
Cracking the Orthodox Rabbinate's Control
New Israel Fund | December 7, 2015
In a victory for religious freedom and women’s rights, a woman who married outside the chief rabbinate has succeeded – thanks to the help of NIF grantee Mavoi Satum – in getting a divorce through a private Orthodox court. Read More
Freedom of Religion on the Rise!
Hiddush 2014 Israel Religion and State Index | September 23, 2014
More than two-thirds (67%) of Israeli Jews support joint efforts between Israel and world Jewry for freedom of marriage in Israel. Read More
Risking jail, two Orthodox rabbis admit to performing non-rabbinate marriages
Times of Israel | July 11, 2015
Chuck Davidson and Elli Fischer acknowledge their ‘crime,' and tell Channel 2 that Israel must separate religion from state. Read More
Why I Defy the Israeli Chief Rabbinate
Elli Fischer | Jewish Review of Books | Winter 2016
Like Rabbi Davidson, and perhaps a handful of other Israeli rabbis, I have married couples who have not registered with the Israeli Chief Rabbinate (Rabbanut). I am willing to do so despite the fact that, according to a law passed in 2013, anyone who marries in a halakhic ceremony must make efforts to register the marriage. Read More
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